Joie de vivre

"[...] And three little gestures that made my day collapse, and another one that made it back completely. Or that's what I hope. I hope I don't deceive myself again. I don't want to write about them, though. I only want to highlight that if I don't stop exaggerating things, I will probably not survive. But this is simply a part of my personality that it seems impossible to change. The advantage is that I'm easy to please; there are those little gestures that you're not even aware of, that matter the most and that make me the happiest. It's proven: the little gestures show you the sheer feelings of that person. But can you even imagine how it feels when you realize that that 'special' person doesn't give a damn about you, when they actually say they do? In a way, this is a quality, so you know who that person actually is. On the other hand, it's the most painful shortcoming. A single sentence, even a single word, a tiny gesture, ...

Have you ever had those songs in your playlists that throw you in melancholy and dreaminess whenever you listen to them? It's the same kind of 'empty' feeling you experience when you listen to a song from your early teens, for instance; however, in this case you know what it reminds you of: the blanket forts, evenings with your best friend, your first love. And this is not the type of melody I'm talking about. With these songs...it's like they throw you somewhere; somewhere in the past, in no known space or time, in a past you don't know when it happened, or IF it did. They remind you of something you're not sure exists, they make you return to some place you don't know where it lies, or if it's even there. They make that usual emptiness even emptier by making your soul long for...that something. And the more you listen to them, the longer a distance they build between you, the listener, and your object of contemplation. It's weird, and fasci...