Joie de vivre

...live for today, hope for tomorrow." This is how the saying goes. However, 2016 taught me how to dare, to think differently, to shape a life of my own and on my own.  In January , after a destructive obsession that threw my emotions and thoughts all over the place, I learned that life doesn't wait for anyone . You have to grasp all the bits of courage you are equipped with and go on . G o f urther . G o away from what destroys you. Also, feelings do not bother people , they never will ; a nd if people say they do, then you know wh ich ones you must never come back to , and which ones you must never believe. What's more that I realized was that , i f you wait for the perfect moment or for when you are ready, you might lose the only opport u nity you will ever have . Just go with it and learn how t o do it later. Be courageous, trust yourself for that . On a more down-to-earth level, I passed all my exams once again (second exam session of my stu dent life, yay!...

It was a gloomy, overcast, usual winter day. I let my mind wander, as I often do when I have assignments to complete. Staring out my room's window. A song I used to listen to back in Romania came on the playlist; then another one and another one. Those types of songs that are filled up with memories, and that send you back in the past. A familiar smell came from the freshly brewed tea, which threw me in the same past. I noticed I stay in the same position in my desk chair, with the palms between my thighs, as I usually stayed when I had homework to do, back then. Everything was linked to the past, and everything was meant to trigger homesickness. But they didn't. I felt emptiness in my stomach. But it was good. As all my senses were aroused and sharpened. P ast memories came back to life, past feelings, past thoughts...all the stimuli threw me completely back there; it's not the first time.  But it is the first time when I'm happy I recall them. It's th...

"When I read this task, the first thought that crossed my mind was "I have never spent a dear on anything, neither did the others around me, so what should I write about?" But shortly after that, something inside me drew my attention to a really expensive resource (or 'thing', as to use the word stated in the task) I possess: my time. Time is relative. It is a convention. I will not get into philosophical details (even though I would like to, hehe); all I say is, time might be worthy for ones and worthless for others; yet this is the most important resource. Why? Because it is not material. You can't buy it, unfortunately for those filthy rich humans who believe they have the entire world by the tail just because their money. You can't touch it, but you feel it, especially when it passes. However, it behaves like a gift. You are offered it and you can offer it to the others in return. As a result, you send off a part of you which will never come back....

I think I'm in love with a fairytale, just like Alexander Rybak confessed in his song. A fairytale is charming, soothing, out of this world in a beautiful way; but, in essence, nonexistent or, at least, far-fetched, hard to believe... Maybe everything about you is in my imagination, in my mind. Maybe it's just a projection of how and who I really want you to be. Maybe I'm just dreaming, and you don't exist. Or, you don't exist for me. Maybe your mission in this life is not to be with me. Yet I feel my spirit craving you. I promised I will travel so much that I will find myself, as well as my soulmate. But it smells like you're here and I don't need to wander, to be a globe-trotter in searching my person, because you are so close. I want us to be happy. I want us to find our ways together one another; to get to know ourselves better. At least, in another life we eventually will. Or maybe I'm just daydreaming, bullshitting, wishing too much and too...

"Exista un pericol care suna in felul urmator: daca n-o iubesc indeajuns de mult, daca nu-i ofer tot ce este mai bun din mine, vor fi altii care-i vor putea oferi toate astea in locul meu. Nu pot sa ma cert toata ziua, nu pot sa vin rupt de beat acasa, nu pot sa nu fac dus doua saptamani, pentru ca exista oameni care ar putea sa-mi ia usor locul; ea isi poate lua geanta si poate pleca oricand. Exista oameni care nu ar face toate astea, langa care poate s-ar simti mult mai bine. Asta era pericolul. Nu poti sa-ti permiti totul. Repet: daca eu nu ma comport frumos, daca eu nu sunt atent, sunt altii care sunt mai atenti." Video-ul este facut de un baiat, de aceea directia vorbelor lui este o fata; dar asta nu inseamna ca reprezentantele feminine nu ar trebui sa tina cont de ce spune el acolo. :)

Am gasit video-ul de mai sus pe un blog , si m-a manat curiozitatea sa-l urmaresc. M-a impresionat si chiar amuzat pe alocuri, in sensul bun; in plus, am extras astea: "Nu este corect sa incerci sa schimbi un om. Oamenii nu se schimba. Daca un pantof e prea mare, e mai usor sa cumperi alti pantofi decat sa umbli sute de kilometri cu ziare indesate in varf." "Daca vrei un cuplu bun, trebuie sa devii bun. Foarte bun." "Decat impreuna cu o persoana nepotrivita, mai bine singur. De multe ori, oamenii ajung sa formeze cupluri din frica, nu din iubire. Le-a fost frica sa se implice pentru a nu suferi, si le e frica sa se desparta pentru a nu suferi. Asa ca stau si sufera oricum." "Oricine poate sa se indragosteasca si sa sufere, dar nu oricine poate sa iubeasca." "Nu cauti iubire, devii iubire." "Implicati-va frumos si despartiti-va si mai frumos; fara drame, fara nemultumiri, fara noroi, fara suferinta. Fiecar...

Extracts: "Social interactions are taxing to the overall energy levels of the introvert. Introverts are happy to see the people they love, but when they reach that breaking point, they need their alone time. Don’t take it personally. [...] Introverts have a reputation for being good at listening. They take their time before they say anything, often reflecting on what’s being said instead of talking about it out loud. They may seem shy, but that’s not necessarily the case. [...] Introverts are naturally more creative and detail-oriented   than their extroverted counterparts. They spend time alone or in small groups devoted to small tasks, like creative motivations and solving problems. They’re great in work environments for that reason. Hiring an introvert onto your team is often a good idea." The article here .

Even the smallest affirmation has the power to ruin; to ruin a day, a night, a week or a plan. To turn them into dust or into other kind of insignificant-useless-sticky matter. It also can well and truly throw the pointed one in a dark angle of his/her existence or cover his/her hopes with mud, yet those hopes seemed unshakeable the other day.  I say 'hopes', because 'dreams' is a much more powerful word; so powerful that it will destroy that darn affirmation, that phrase which made someone almost to give up on something pretty nice they planned to do. Dreams are the ones which gives humans the energy and the inner strength to fight, to clench their teeth, to grin and bear it and to, finally!, achieve that most-wanted result. Thus, may you call your hopes dreams instead? I bet you'll get the dreamlike result you crave so much.  "You will never be free until your free yourself from the prison of your own thoughts." (Philip Arnold) So, my dream (ex...

"În redactare nu are atâta preț poleirea frazelor, cât organizarea ideilor." (Ion Barbu)

O zi frumoasa e atunci cand esti mai apreciat decat credeai. Sau atunci cand primesti un compliment la care nu te asteptai. Sau cand iti este admirata o calitate pe care credeai ca nu o ai.  ~ O zi frumoasa este intr-adevar frumoasa cand, dupa ce muncesti sustinut si pe o perioada lunga de timp, primesti rezultatul mult dorit, care este mult peste asteptari . O alta zi frumoasa este una in care, poate din greseala, te uiti in ochii unui cunoscut putin mai mult decat de obicei; si realizezi ce frumosi sunt si te intrebi cum de nu i-ai observat pana acum. La cat mai multe zile frumoase! :)  

Extras dintr-un articol: "Dacă suntem răi cu alții e pentru că suntem răi cu noi înșine. Când nu știi cine ești, încotro te îndrepți și când percepi lumea în care trăiești ca fiind ostilă și rea, stai în defensivă. Cauți să te protejezi de rău și cauți să ataci. Toată lumea pare să fie inamicul tău, dușmanul tău… Și e trist pentru că singurul nostru dușman suntem noi înșine și luptându-ne cu alții, noi ne luptăm cu propria noastra persoană." Intregul articol aici .

"E greu, e foarte greu cand ai voi sa graiesti cuiva o vorba care-ti vine din fundul inimii si nu poti; e insa si mai greu cand simti ca numai aceasta vorba poate sa alunge gandul rau pe care si-l face despre tine un om la care tii." (I. Slavici)

" “People want a little love. And I don’t mean a lot of hugging and everything, even though we might do that. But this is the big thing: people need attention. You can’t buy love. You can’t buy attention. But people need this.” “And it’s for free,” Bette says . “You can give this to people for free.” " These kinds of people restore my faith in humanity. After all, there still are good people out there ... Quotation source: http://www.bostonglobe.com/news/nation/2014/12/14/lifetime-lessons-from-feet/ozglgVrfl43xoFFQ1GR7FL/story.html Photo source: Unknown

Atunci cand fluturii cei colorati se transforma in molii palide ... Atunci cand ei nu te mai gadila, ci te picura cu acid ... Atunci cand, in loc sa-ti trimita pozitivitate, ei ti-o seaca ... Atunci cand, in loc sa dizolve energia negativa, ei o cultiva ...  Atunci cand, in loc de fiori de bucurie, simti fiori de teama sau, si mai rau, de tristete ... Atunci cand, in loc sa-ti sara inima cu putere si vesela, bate abia simtit, parca ii e teama ca iti va consuma si ultima farama de energie ... Atunci simti ca e sfarsitul, simti ca nu mai poti continua, simti ca vrei sa lasi totul balta, sa fugi, sa-ti faci bagajele si sa pleci departe, sa uiti de tot si toate... Dar stiti voi, "poti fugi, dar nu te poti ascunde". Si nu vei fugi la nesfarsit.   INSA... Daca ramai si te lasi lovit de val, te lasi prins in valtoarea lui, acele molii nesuferite isi vor face treaba de molii nesuferite: zboara, rod, deterioreaza, pleaca. Si cu ce ramai? Cu goluri adanci, poate abisale, c...

"If depression is more insidious -- and more misunderstood -- than other disorders, it is because its core symptoms are mental and emotional. This can make it difficult to distinguish the person from the disease, as our thoughts and emotions define who we are. This confusing of the person with the disease is not confined to non-sufferers; when the depression is especially bad, I lose the ability to remind myself that this is not me. [...] And there is something more to depression, which is hard to put into words adequately: it wants to kill you. In the lowest lows, the darkest depths, it makes you "understand" that you need to be dead. The necessity and inevitability of suicide becomes as self-evident as one plus one equals two. You find yourself wondering why you haven't done it yet. What's holding you back? What is this week's lame excuse for continuing, when the future holds only more pain and failure? [...] I have been through every form...