Joie de vivre

...live for today, hope for tomorrow." This is how the saying goes. However, 2016 taught me how to dare, to think differently, to shape a life of my own and on my own.  In January , after a destructive obsession that threw my emotions and thoughts all over the place, I learned that life doesn't wait for anyone . You have to grasp all the bits of courage you are equipped with and go on . G o f urther . G o away from what destroys you. Also, feelings do not bother people , they never will ; a nd if people say they do, then you know wh ich ones you must never come back to , and which ones you must never believe. What's more that I realized was that , i f you wait for the perfect moment or for when you are ready, you might lose the only opport u nity you will ever have . Just go with it and learn how t o do it later. Be courageous, trust yourself for that . On a more down-to-earth level, I passed all my exams once again (second exam session of my stu dent life, yay!...

"[...] And three little gestures that made my day collapse, and another one that made it back completely. Or that's what I hope. I hope I don't deceive myself again. I don't want to write about them, though. I only want to highlight that if I don't stop exaggerating things, I will probably not survive. But this is simply a part of my personality that it seems impossible to change. The advantage is that I'm easy to please; there are those little gestures that you're not even aware of, that matter the most and that make me the happiest. It's proven: the little gestures show you the sheer feelings of that person. But can you even imagine how it feels when you realize that that 'special' person doesn't give a damn about you, when they actually say they do? In a way, this is a quality, so you know who that person actually is. On the other hand, it's the most painful shortcoming. A single sentence, even a single word, a tiny gesture, ...

Spuneam eu acum ap roape doi ani ca nu-mi voi schimba culoarea curand. "Curand" e foarte relativ, asa ca abia de trecusera vreo 8 luni de cand am marturisit ca-mi iubesc culoarea si cam 6 luni de cand mi-am zis ca nu mai pun vopsea in par, cand o cutie de la Syoss mi-a atras atentia intr-un supermarket: Source: http://www.syoss.ro/syoss/ro/ro/home/vopsirea_parului/color/saten0/saten_aluna.html In teorie, saten-aluna.  In practica: Ce? Saten? Nu vad :(. Am asteptat o luna, si iar la supermarket: Source: http://www.syoss.ro/syoss/ro/ro/home/vopsirea_parului/color/saten0/saten_deschis.html Si, cum socoteala de acasa nu se potriveste cu cea din targ (sau, in cazul de fata, ce e pe cutie/Internet nu se potriveste cu realitatea), a iesit asta (uitati-va pe lungime & varfuri): Daca ala e saten deschis, inseamna ca am ochi albastri. In plus, reflexiile roscate sunt inca acolo... Imi spunea cineva odata ca roscatul e cea mai pacatoa...

His smile...is still here. It's haunting me. It's everywhere. In every photo and in every memory. In every corner of my mind and of my sight. In my every move towards getting over him. ...and I was wondering why it takes so long for some people to get over someone they loved.  But I didn't even love you. You can't love someone after only one encounter, can you? "I will remember [...] how we gave each other what was left of us,  and [...] the feel of you, your smile, and the warmth of you  who made me laugh again."

It was a gloomy, overcast, usual winter day. I let my mind wander, as I often do when I have assignments to complete. Staring out my room's window. A song I used to listen to back in Romania came on the playlist; then another one and another one. Those types of songs that are filled up with memories, and that send you back in the past. A familiar smell came from the freshly brewed tea, which threw me in the same past. I noticed I stay in the same position in my desk chair, with the palms between my thighs, as I usually stayed when I had homework to do, back then. Everything was linked to the past, and everything was meant to trigger homesickness. But they didn't. I felt emptiness in my stomach. But it was good. As all my senses were aroused and sharpened. P ast memories came back to life, past feelings, past thoughts...all the stimuli threw me completely back there; it's not the first time.  But it is the first time when I'm happy I recall them. It's th...

This year has been one of MY years. 5 and 15 are those numbers that apparently brought me luck since I can remember, you know those superstitions. I don't remember what happened in 2005 (might ask my Grandma for this :D), but I will certainly remember all my life what happened in the freaking 2015, the best year of my life up to this moment! January was a huge step forward. I have proven myself that people are not what you hear about them; people are only what they are and how they behave. I started the driving school, and later I found that I have passed the so-much-desired-and-worked-for Cambridge Certificate in Advanced English ; the door-opening diploma, the one thanks to which I could freely join a foreign University. I had my second serious interview of my life: I wanted to volunteer for an NGO in my hometown. I donated blood for the first time. February has brought me a position in the NGO: I was going to do PR and translations for the next (at least) 6 months;...