Spark, fire, ash; replace the target and repeat

"The feelings I have had for him, so strong. He inspired me for all sort of deep, lovely, touching texts. I have invested a lot of energy and soul in that 'relationship' between us, which wasn't actually a relationship, and will never be.

However, I hate him now. I hate him with all the love and care I had for him. He promised me nice walks and long talks, but ironically we stopped talking to each other right after. I don't know why. I don't even know if this is of interest for me.

The thing is, now I'm like a hedgehog with all the ones around me. I think a lot about him, but not with the same thoughts. It's different. I want to slap him hardly, I don't want to have any further contact with him, ever. I want all the bad in the world to converge on him."


Originally written: Jul 2015

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